A letter to someone I grew up with who took complete advantage of me and others so that she can have the life she wants. She is a great person, will do anything for anyone as long as the man in her life has nothing negative to say about it. However, the way she has conducted herself over the past two years has been heartbreaking. I know she is capable of better. I am so disappointed in myself for not speaking up more, for going along with things and defending her position tooth and nail in the name of friendship. I’ve always been a pushover and I should’ve dropped her like a bad habit after Matt or Jason. It’s unfair of me to constantly vent to A when she has a wedding, a honeymoon, a future mortgage. I can’t have these thoughts bouncing around in my head because I feel like it’s eating me alive.
S, I reached out to you because you put all the bullshit on IG about repairing relationships and there only being a limited amount of time. By the way you reacted, I can only assume that those posts only pertain to people connected to W. You are so lucky you have A (because W didn’t say anything negative about her) because she is the only legit person you have outside of family. If you and W were to not work out, all your “friends” would go with him. I will always be there for you. You’ll always be family and there is no changing that; but I never ever ever want to be close to you. I made excuses because of your daddy issues but it’s not fair to me. However, I’d still be open to having a civil relationship if you ever do come to your senses. I know that fantastic person is in there, but when it comes to your romantic relationships, you act mean, cold, defensive, and all around bitchy to the point where I dislike you.
W, how do you possibly think it’s okay to save on a trip to FL instead of saving towards legal fees to demand to find out if M (male) is really your kid? How can you possibly be okay with waiting until he is 18? You’re okay with missing the remainder of his childhood? The world doesn’t need complacent fathers [the only reason why you are not one towards J is because S has worked so hard to create a home and was smart enough to get a ring first]. And how can you leave M (female) out of your “family trip”? M is just as much your child as J. She is going to look at pictures when she’s older and know that her daddy didn’t take her on a trip for her first birthday. She is going to feel like the bastard child. And S, how did you think it was okay to say to JC that M can’t come every Sunday because it’s the only day you can spend with W and J as a family. M IS your family! Weather you like it or not, it’s what you agreed to when you signed a document in the state of NY! It’s not right that you call her a priss. It’s going to color the way that you treat her. You can call me all the names you want in the book but when it comes to innocent children’s emotional health, how can I keep my mouth shut? And you putting text messages on the Internet of W saying “J is my world” “This has been the best year of my life.” What about M?! Again, M is going to see that when she is older and feel awful.
In regards to your MIL, I understand you don’t get along with L but to keep J away from her is a disservice. You are not the first wife to not get along with your mother in law. My mom didn’t get along with hers and if she would’ve kept me from my grandma, my life wouldn’t be as blessed as it is. You even tell JT not to keep Josh away from her own MIL because, regardless of being irresponsible with money, is still a good grandma. I don’t like L (she is immature and uncivilized) but she does love her grandbabies.
And your poor mom. You disrespected her by putting pics up of TP and announcing him as your dad. You do realize that makes your mom look awful, correct? You’re airing her dirty laundry that is over two decades old. This is the women who took care of you, not him. You need to forgive her. 26 years ago there was no Internet, she didn’t have the support of other moms and wives like you do. Not as much was known about peoples’ mental health. She was a stay at home mom; she was essentially trapped, where exactly was she going to go? She didn’t speak to her siblings and her father was dead. She was married when she was a kid. Are you telling me that if you ended up marrying MB, that you wouldn’t have an indiscretion? You glorify him but he didn’t do anything for you.
And what about your oldest brother? He has spent so much of his own money on you, helped pay for your wedding, and you want to say that you can’t stand him and how annoying he is?
How can you let your mom spend Christmas Eve alone? You and W couldn’t bend and just go to E&J’s? You were ok letting her drive across central Suffolk County so that you didn’t have to leave your house on Xmas? My heart breaks for her because she dedicates her life to her children and tries to make you happy.
I’ll admit that I should not have tried to give you financial advice, I should have smiled and nodded like everyone else does. I just wish you realized that whenever I tried to give you advice, it was only the stuff everyone else is saying behind your back.
To make a long story longer, you let people bend over backwards for you even though you don’t want them in your life because you are not confrontational enough to just own up and say it. So you just coast along and go about your life la dee da. Yet people still find out and they get even more pissed at you than if you would’ve just been honest from the get go. Start having some respect for people and their own feelings.
Shame on you.
I don’t think you’ll come across this and I know if you do, it’ll be misunderstood and it will cause drama. If you do come across it, don’t text me about it or talk to me about it. I’m not going to explain myself. This letter is for me and my own mental health. My own corner of the Internet to rant and rave. If I was as horrible as you think I am, I’d ask for all the gifts my father and I gave you.
PS - You say I was critical of you and I was going to make a list of allllll the critical stuff you’ve said to me, but we’d be here all day. I will say, however, that even though W likes to paint me as the bad friend, it was SD and SN (W’s side) that ruined your wedding night. S left the only wedding she’ll ever have with tears streaming down her face, unable to enjoy her first night with her brand new husband in a bridal suite (remember me grabbing you the key to it?) because SD had to clothesline a girl and SN couldn’t let words go. And yet you still had SN as godfather. Now who has horrible friends? They were never once talked to about their actions.
If I prayed, I’d pray that you two didn’t dig yourself any more holes.